Saturday, February 21, 2009

Story Time...

I have plenty of great, really funny stories that from time to time I may be inclined to share with you.

Here is the first one (read it to the end because that's the good part)

I had randomly been picked up by this guy outside of a 24 hour burrito place after I had been out partying with my friend, Gloria, all night.
He was charming and kind of cute, older, big (like a football player), sexy... kinda. For the purpose of this story and anonymity sake we'll call him Mike.
Well, anyways, Gloria and I get convinced to go take our food to eat it back at his apartment, then I got charmed into staying the night. (I was young and naive).
Fast Forward about a month and a half or so
We had been hooking up on the regular, but after awhile I realized that he just wasn't for me. The poor guy, however, had taken a liking to me and wasn't so inclined on letting me go.

Enough with back ground info... here's the actual story

One day after he had been texting me all day asking me what I was going and that he want me to come over to hang out and we all know what that means in gay slang (now mind you I am a classy broad and don't just do that with anyone... hell who am I kidding). I finally agreed to go over for a little bit and making it explicitly clear that I was not going to sleep over. I text my roommate Jennie tell her I was going over to his place and would be home later.
I get to his place and we watch some tv, ate a pizza, chatted a little, the usual. I tried to get up and leave about five or six times and somehow he always had a reason for me to stay ... 5 minutes more... 10 minutes more... one more beer... the tv show is almost over... blah, blah, blah...
He kept dropping hints and making little comments indicating his desire for me to stay over. I say no every time he brings it up with every excuse I know.
"I have class in the morning"
"My place is closer to campus"
" I don't have any clothes here"
"I'll drive you to go get them"
"I to sleep in my bed"
"You know my bed is more comfortable"
... you get the idea

So finally after I am clean out of excuses. I cave. So I concocted an ultimatum. Knowing that he loves to sleep at his own place because he lives alone and has never stayed at my place (because I share a room with my roommate) I offered up a proposal.
"I am not gonna sleep here, but you can come over to my place if you want"
Thinking that I finally beat him at his own game he replies...
"Sure let me get my things" turns and goes to his room.
My jaw dropped. I was completely shocked. SHIT! what just happened?
I quickly reach for my phone to warn Jennie via text message.

Damn it Mike is coming over and I really don't want him to.

Now for the good part...

a rush of fear comes over my entire body. I whip out my phone again... TEXT MESSAGES (click) ... SENT MESSAGES (click).... last message SENT TO: MIKE

Oh Fuck!

I sent the message to him.

There I am sitting on his futon waiting for him to come out of his room with no escape route. I have really got myself into it this time. My mind is racing.
Can I just run? ... No
I'll erase the text message!.... he has his phone... shit
Can I lie? ... No

He walks into the living room
My eyes zoned in on the phone in his hand
"Uh... yeah"
I get up quickly and head for the door still waiting for the phone to let out a little chirp to sound triggering my inevitable doom.
He reaches for the door and opens it.

Do i just run out now?
Before I can decide...

Chirp Chirp

Shit I am screwed

"Did you text me?"
"Uh..." Lie just Lie ... "No"

He reads it. Right in front of me. Seriously just run!!
The look on his face will be forever ingrained in my mind. It was so indescribable but you could only imagine.

"What is this shit?!"
Plan dumb "What?"
"Who were you texting"
"No one..."
"Well then what's this?"
"I don't know..."

I could get my feet to move... so I say

"Well it's late I have to get to bed. Are you gonna come?
Did I really just ask him to come over AGAIN?!! hahaha
"Well not if you don't want me to"
"Ok well then good night"

My feet became unglued and I made a run for it. Just like that.
What just happend? Don't laugh he can still heat you. quick call Jennie.

One of the most embarrassing moments EVER.

But get this. I was thinking well I will never talk to him again. But again to my surprise later that weekend I get a call.

Ring. Ring. MIKE

In the ten minute conversation we had I some how convinced him that the whole thing was his fault for making me feel uncomfortable and pressured to sleep with him. So he apologized to me!!

And that is when I came to the realization that I would be able make it in this crazy Topsy-turvy gay boy world.

Hope you had fun :)
Until next time...

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